Book 87: Totally Killer by Greg Olear

Note: I know the author of this book socially.

Man, this book inspired a whole lot of conflicting feelings for me, which isn't that surprising, given that it's a bit of a mishmash in terms of genre. It's a novel about events that take place in New York City in the fall of 1991, and a big part of the experience of reading it for me was the feeling of nostalgia and just recognition of that point in time. It's a deliberate period piece, with references to specific brands and cultural touchstones and political events in practically every sentence, and it's a look back on Gen X culture when they were the twenty-somethings discovering the world. I am either the youngest of Gen Xers or the oldest of Millennials, depending on which cutoff date you use, and so Gen X culture is baked into my experience of life and how I view the world, even though it was also something adult and unreachable for me. I learned what it was to be adult by watching Gen Xers though, and this book really drove home a lot of those unconscious lessons. 

But what is the book actually about, you ask. Well, that's part of where my conflicted feelings come in. The story is about a girl, Taylor Schmidt, who moves to New York in the fall of 1991 and is murdered about a month later. The book's POV is her roommate, who's kind of obsessed with her and who reads her diaries and in general I found pretty unsympathetic, especially since we know from the first chapter (possibly even the first page) that Taylor is beautiful and young and perfect and also dies, and I am not actually that interested in stories about women with that plot trajectory, especially when told by a male protagonist. That's not my kind of thriller. However, the story is also a satire, and the story of why and how Taylor gets murdered involves an employment agency that has a secret method of getting its clients new jobs: there are too many baby boomers holding onto positions, so the only way for Gen Xers to get their foot in the door is to kill them off. I still wasn't totally sold while Taylor was shocked and horrified by how she got her job, but then she killed her first mark and loved it and suddenly Taylor became a character I cared about.

So basically: I don't care about beautiful young women who are killed and are viewed as objects before their death by POV characters, but I care a lot about a woman who decides that murder is the way to go. The end of the book holds together better than I thought it would, even if the twist made be a bit grumpy for similar reasons, but it was also remarkable reading this book, which was written in the late 2000's about the early '90's, and reflecting on the fact that the '90's will not die, politically or otherwise. Also it reaffirmed something I've been feeling a lot during this reading project, which is boy do I not give a fuck about what men think of women. So this book did well for me to get past that reaction at all, but I probably wouldn't have finished it if I didn't know the author. I'm glad I did, though. It was better than the setup suggested.

Grade: B

Book 86: Bound by Blood and Sand by Becky Allen

Note: I know the author of this book socially.

I have been looking forward to reading this book for years, and oh man, it did not disappoint.

The setting of this story is a magical desert world in which the wells are running dry. Our heroine is Jae, a member of the Closest caste, people who were cursed and enslaved by the Avowed in the aftermath of a long ago war. She discovers that she has the magic needed to restore the power to the Well and therefore save the world, but she must figure out how to do so while also freeing herself and her people from slavery.

One of the things that I love about this book is that while it deals with massive, overarching themes and stakes (oppressive power systems and how to overthrow them without destroying your own humanity!), it does so by focusing on the lives and experiences of individual characters and pulls you through the narrative that way. Jae is such a recognizable and yet specifically drawn character; she is the heart at the center of this story, but she can't do it alone, and she makes choices that result in consequences she couldn't have predicted, and those consequences matter in real and irreversible ways. She goes from having no control at all as a slave, to having a power so strong she must to struggle to learn how to control it.

Part of what's so satisfying about her journey is that it's a classic hero arc, both in the superhero "with great power comes great responsibility" mold and also within high fantasy world building and storytelling. Each step of her story feels inevitable and right at the moment it happens but not a second before, because the story builds both on each of the choices made within the narrative and on the greater fantasy traditions of how magic and power work. I couldn't have told you how this book would end at the halfway point or even with two or three chapters left, but once we arrived there it all slotted together like a puzzle. It's a magical system that makes sense intuitively as each piece of it is revealed and discovered, and the specific terms within the world (the Closest, the Avowed) become natural and anchor the reader to the larger history of the universe.

BBB&S is the first in a two book series, and the end of it does feel like the reader has just enough time to catch their breath. The hard work has only just begun for Jae, but I have no doubt at all that she's up for the challenge ahead.

Grade: A

Book 85: My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante

This book is the first in a four book series exploring a lifelong friendship between two women living in post-war Napoli. Elena, the narrator, is constantly in the shadow of Lila, her closest friend who at times depends on Elena more than anyone else in her life and at other times deliberately and sometimes cruelly pushes her aside. But they never seem to stop circling around each other.

The book's framing is that of an older Elena looking back on their relationship through the years after Lila has deliberately made herself disappear. It focus on their childhood and teenage years, on their experiences in school together and romances and adventures. By the end of the book it feels startlingly clear that they are each other's great loves, and whether that would express itself in a sexual and romantic relationship in another place or time seems like an open (and obvious) question. It is the sort of close friendship between women that instinctively leads to the "do I want to be her or be with her" question, and I'm curious to see how that question will evolve (or not) in future books.

The writing is exceptional in its simplicity; the translation from the Italian feels so natural and easy, and reading it takes no effort at all, except for when it digs into feelings that are so sharp they almost hurt. It's very much an experiential novel, where what happens is less important at times then how it's told.

One other fundamental aspect about this book is what it is to be a girl and then a woman in this world, and the implied reflection on those realities from a distance. Part of this is surely down to the political environment of being a woman living through the 2016 U.S. Presidential race, but I found myself getting so angry on behalf of these girls so frequently, simply because their experiences feel so truthful to me. Sometimes I feel like the real struggle of this year is watching all of the euphemisms we've relied on to soften reality get torn away, and while I think it's important for reality and pain to be exposed and dealt with honestly, at times it's hard to see that through the rage I feel.

Grade: A   

Book 84: Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake

This book was sold to me as being similar to Game of Thrones, only the main contenders are teenaged girls who happen to be sisters. And this book (the first in a two book series) isn't not that, but it's both better and more frustrating than that summary, for me.

Each queen of the realm gives birth to three daughters, who all usually have one unique power. They are separated from each other when young and raised within the city that celebrates that power. The poisoners have been in power for many generations now and are determined to keep it, but Katharine, the poisoner heir, has never shown any aptitude for her power. Neither has Arsinoe, a naturalist who should have an animal familiar and a gift for the hunt. Only Mirabella, the elemental heir, has demonstrated her power of controlling the four elements. But of the three, she's the least enthusiastic about what is demanded of her: to kill her two sisters, or to be killed, for much like Highlander, there can be only one.

I liked a lot of stuff about this book - the different kinds of magic were really interesting, and the three heirs pulled me along in their story and made me root for each of them. But that was also part of what's odd about the universe for me: even beyond the three heirs, the society is nominally matriarchal, with goddesses and priestesses and men who are seeking to be the eventual queen's consort with no expectations for any power of his own. And yet the three heirs are controlled and ruled by everyone and all of the constructs of the universe, even while having vast overwhelming powers. I get that part of the point of the story is to examine the paradox of the most powerful people having the least power, but it just made me mad. And there are a couple of plotlines involving romantic partners that also frustrated me, for similar reasons.

Still, it was a compelling and engaging read, and I'm curious enough about how the author will (presumably) upend the universe in the sequel that I'll definitely buy it, but mostly it's a book that I enjoyed but always wished was just a little different.

Grade: B

Challenge update!

Well, four weeks ago I was very optimistic about how I was doing. At that point I had 50 books left to read in about eight weeks, which was pretty crazy but still felt at least theoretically possible to me. And then I got sick for about a week, and work blew up, and I got sick again, and most of all the election cycle got to a point where I basically found it impossible to focus on reading. So now it's 26 days until the election (THANK GOD), but I actually have 53 books to read, because I'm in a book club and so have added a few titles to the list, and clearly I am not going to manage to read two books a day for the next three and a half weeks.

So! I have revised my goals. The short-term goal is to reach triple digits in books by Election Day, which means reading a minimum of 17 books in the next three and a half weeks - ambitious, but doable, especially since I'm halfway through two books currently. I think it's especially achievable since the other thing I realized this past week is that I basically can't try to read anything that's too dark or sad or deals with certain subjects in realistic subjects until after I know that we've all done our civic duty and saved the republic. So like, I'm not reading the novels set during WWI or WWII, or that I know end badly and instead am focusing on the lighter books still on my list for the next four weeks. I am saving all of the darker for after the election, a time when hopefully I will be able to breathe a bit easier and live inside a fictional or historical hellscape without triggering nightmares in my reality.

Once I hit 100 books, I'll still have 36 books left to read, and at that point my goal will be to finish all of those by Christmas, so that I can receive books as Christmas presents on a clean slate. The numbers work out so that I need to read approximately 5 books a week until Christmas, which is obviously quite ambitious, and will require me to find my focus again. But I think I can do it, and it certainly would be helpful for me to spend less time on twitter and more time reading especially right now. So let's see how I do :D

Book 83: If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo

I finished this book about two and a half weeks ago, and I've been putting off writing a post about it since then because I'm still so frustrated by it. I wanted to be able to write a positive post about it, and recommend it to people, because what's good about this book is worth reading and valuable and important to be out there. But the bad stuff is so bad that it colors my entire experience of the book, and that's just a shame.

If I Was Your Girl is a YA novel about a trans girl written by a trans woman. Amanda, the main character, had been living with her mother before her transition, and moves to another town to live with her father after she transitions in order to start a new life. I really like the character of Amanda, and a lot of how the story is told; it alternates between her present life in her new town and her past experiences as a child and as a teenager before her transition, including a suicide attempt and an attack in her old town that is part of why she left to live with her father. The book is set in the South, and the descriptions and depictions of life resonate and feel authentic to me, as do Amanda's experiences in a support group for young trans people.

When she moves to live with her dad, she finds friends and also a boyfriend, because while in a lot of ways this book is a deliberate examination of how terrible things can be for trans youth, it's also wish fulfillment and fantasy. Amanda passes easily in a town where no one knows here, and she's beautiful and smart and can draw, and she attracts a nice boy and a good group of female friends and a weirdo friend who was in her art class, and that's where the whole book falls apart. Because her weirdo art class friend is bisexual, and Amanda confides in her, and the bisexual friend both falls in love with her and then betrays her, because that's what bisexuals do. And so even within this narrative that is giving a life and depth to a trans character that we don't often get in books, we see the most cliched, the most hackneyed, and the most damaging stereotype of bisexuals played out in a way that's both narratively lazy and offensive. I am so fucking frustrated that a book that could be so valuable is instead so hurtful; I find it incredible that no one in the entire process of publishing a book like this didn't sit back and say hey, this doesn't need to happen this way. We don't need to give the world yet another evil bisexual character in order to give our heroine a compelling storyline. This book was already attempting to do something quite tricky, namely create a trans character who simultaneously is unbelievably privileged and lucky but who also suffers from essentially every single one of the Worst Nightmares that a queer character can undergo (rejection, public outing, threat of violence, threat of sexual violence, suicide attempt). Having the plot turn on Bisexual Betrayal on top of all of that made the entire story collapse, and as much as I genuinely do want to be able to excuse it, I can't. We need more books about trans characters, written by trans authors. But this one sadly doesn't cut it.

Grade: C

Book 82: Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

I have no idea which class I bought this book for, or why I never read it in high school or college. It has been one of those books that I've moved from apartment to apartment for all of my adult life and yet had never gotten around to reading until now. 

This book is about a man named Okonkwo, a leader in a Nigeria village during the period of British colonization in the late 19th century. I found it to be a really hard book to read, both because of the depiction of the missionaries taking over and dividing the people of his village, and also because the treatment of women within the community really upset me as well. It felt completely devoid of hope, and was very much one of those books that I came out of understanding its importance and significance without having enjoyed the experience of reading it very much. I know that not all literature is intended to leave the reader feeling good, but this isn't the kind of novel I'm particularly interested in reading at the moment, given the state of things. Another book I think I read too late, or at least at the wrong time. 

Grade: B